An Open Letter to Sasha Laxton

If you have not yet read any of the recent news articles about Sasha Laxton, the child whose parents are raising him as “gender-neutral,” you can do so here.


Dear Sasha,

I know that you are too young to understand what I want to tell you right now. I also know that you will probably never read this letter, but still my hope is that one day this beautiful truth will find it’s way to you one way or another.

What you may already know is that your parents are kind of crazy. Not crazy because they are trying to raise you as a gender-neutral kid, but crazy because all parents are crazy to one degree or another. Also, though, they are crazy over you. Everything they are doing as parents is because they love you and although they are misguided, deep down they really do want to do what is best for you. I hope you remember that when you get older. It’s a blessing that many children do not have.

However, what I want you to know is that no matter what your parent’s intentions are, there is no such thing as a gender neutral person. You see, having decided that equality between humans means that differences must be abolished, our society is going to great lengths to ignore reality. The truth is that you are a boy and we can’t ignore that. Physically, you have certain body parts unique to little boys, and you also have DNA and hormones that will one day grow you into a man emotionally as well. Sure, you can find doctors who can change a lot of those things, but to do so is to mutilate who you are meant to be.

I know that phrases like “meant to be” will be foreign to you at this point in life, and I’m sure you will hear the opposite of that plenty from people near you. Nevertheless, it is true. You do exist with a purpose, and being a boy is part of that.

See, the reality that people like your family want to ignore is that men and women were created equal, yet different, by a God who doesn’t make mistakes. The Bible says that God created humanity as male and female, and then stepped back and said that it was “very good.”

Later on in the Bible a great King named David sang this as part of a song to this God:

“For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.”
(Psalm 139:13-16 ESV)

My favorite part of that song is when he says, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” It was true of King David, and it is true of you, Sasha.

God made you to be who you are, and that includes the fact that you are a boy. That doesn’t mean that you cannot grow up to be sensitive, like things that our culture doesn’t consider masculine, or refuse to be a macho “alpha male.” What it does mean, though, is to deny what God has wonderfully created you to be is a slap in the face to a Heavenly Father who loves you infinitely more than your parents here on earth are able to.

He sees you in His perfect love, and wants you to grow up to be a mighty man of God, who follows in the example of His firstborn Son, Jesus Christ.

See, Jesus got a bad reputation, too, because although He was the epitome of what it means to be a man, He didn’t fit into the box of what His culture thought He should be. However, He didn’t bow to meet anyone’s expectations, either. Instead, He lived His life committed to following the path God laid out for Him, even though that path carried with it a lot of pain.

Sasha, I know your life will be confusing, and that you are going to have a lot to deal with one day as you begin making real life decisions about who you are, and who you want to be. Just know, that no matter what pressures you feel from outside, and no matter what it is your desires are going to lead you to become, God loves you, and wants you to follow Him. He has the best plan for your life if you are willing to follow Him.

If the life of Jesus-follower is the one you decide, I hope your parents will still be as open-minded about the decision you make. Maybe through your journey they could meet this Jesus, too. Know this, though, there are many of us out here who you will never meet, but we are praying for you all the same.

I hope you find your way to accept who you are, even in the face of those who want to deny it.

May God bless you and keep you,


Scott Ingram