Shame Archives – Anthony Scott Ingram

February 25 2019

No Shame

A. Scott Ingram Christian Life, Soul Care Alone, Forgiveness, Holy Spirit, Jesus & The Gospel, Shame, Sinner 4

Hi, my name is Scott, and I am an analytic…

I am also an introvert, and a perfectionist. And while none of these characteristics are completely negative in and of themselves, when they work together for long periods of time, it can sometimes go badly.

I used to drive an 18-wheeler, overnight, in the oilfields of west Texas. Most of my waking hours were spent in the cab of that truck, out in the middle of nowhere, not seeing another person for hours on end. As an introvert, it was a kind of oasis for me a lot of the time. As I look back on my relationship with Christ through the years, I also realize that I had some of my most intimate times with God sitting behind the wheel of that truck. It gave me a lot of time (12+ hours a day) to engage with the Holy Spirit in prayer and private worship. At the same time, as anyone who has spent time in the presence of God knows, when He shows up in such powerful ways, your sins and shortcomings are also, always exposed.

Being an analytic, I overthink everything. So what would happen in those moments is that as I engaged with God, I would often have an amazing time of worship and prayer, and then God would lovingly expose the negative things in my life, to correct me and lead me in His perfect plan for my life. (This is good, and necessary for the Christian life. This season was a great time of sanctification in my Christian journey!) I would finish the workday on fire! It wouldn’t simply stop there, however. I would go home, shower, go to bed, and then usually wake up the next day still feeling the conviction about those things. And this is where things could get problematic.

As the new day would roll along, still analyzing what God was revealing to me the night before, one of two things could happen. Either I would continue to engage with God in worship and ask Him to continue to root out the things I need to deal with, or it would go negative, and I would begin to dwell on the failures that God exposed in me, with self-loathing.

In addition to being an introvert and an analytic, I also have those perfectionist tendencies. So being the over-thinker that I am, and having a high level of expectations for myself, I would usually find myself in this second position. In God’s amazing grace, He would lovingly expose my flaws, but instead of dealing with them in repentance, I would obsess on the failures in myself with shame and disgust. The result? Self-condemnation, depression, and even a feeling of being unworthy of the intimate time God granted me the night before. This positioning would inevitably be followed by ‘avoiding’ God for a while; hiding in my shame like Adam in the Garden of Eden.

When this happens, it is the old orphan spirit rising up inside, forgetting who Daddy is.

The God Who Doesn’t Shame Us.

The great thing about God is that He will not leave us sitting alone in our shame. He is faithful to show up and push us toward a response to His love (repentance); offering forgiveness in Christ. There is no greater feeling for me than when God breaks in on my self-loathing with His love! In the times I am feeling unworthy of God and hiding, it amazes me how He shows up, calling me out.

What every Christian needs to realize about our God is that He loves us. He finds pleasure in His children, even the ones who aren’t the best at following directions. Psalm 149:4-5 tells us, “For the Lord takes pleasure in his people…” Possibly the greatest lesson for every believer to learn is, “there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). He doesn’t shame us, He rejoices over us?

To my brothers and sisters in Christ: I just want to offer you a reminder of the love of God today. I don’t know what you are struggling with right now. I don’t know what your emotional state is telling you about God. But I know this. God loves you, and through Christ, He is pleased with you. No matter how you feel right now, look to Him and let Him break in on you. Meet Him intimately wherever you are at. Sing for joy. God is near. He doesn’t come to condemn you or leave you in shame. He wants to spend time with you, showing His love to you, more than you can ever know.

(This post was originally published August 1, 2011. It has been revised and edited for reposting.)

Photo by Kevin Jesus Horacio on Unsplash

January 20 2019

The Process of Repentance

A. Scott Ingram Christian Life, Deliverance Ministry, Gospel Leadership, Personal Discipleship, Spiritual Disciplines confession, Forgiveness, guilt, repentance, Shame, Sin, Spiritual Disciplines 0

It’s the beginning of 2019, and just like I try to do every January, I have been pursuing God and making plans for the new year. I have been very excited at the potential that this year holds, yet it seems that this season has also been filled with an unusually large amount of spiritual attacks from the enemy. One financial breakthrough leads to ongoing attacks on finances immediacy afterwards. Personal pursuits of the Lord are disrupted by strife with the family. And of course, for a guy, a major part of this warfare comes in the form of sinful temptations toward lust, apathy, and depression. I am sure you have had these kinds of seasons of life as well, and if all of us are honest, there are times when we don’t win these battles with the enemy when they come.

I have learned that when times of failure happen it must be my goal to ask for God’s forgiveness immediately, and confess to my accountability partner as quickly as possible. Running to God rather than away from Him when we sin should be the normal pattern for the Christian life, and doing so is a way to prevent the enemy from getting a foothold in our lives. The quick confession to another person also sets us up to find support and rebound from our failures, rather than walking in shame and trying to hide our guilt.

Recently, after walking through the process of losing a battle with temptation, and walking through the forgiveness and confession processes, I took some time to prayer journal, asking God to speak to me about true repentance and how to fight a better fight next time. I believe some of the things He showed me will be helpful to you as well, so I wanted to share.

First, you need to understand that there is a difference between confession or asking forgiveness, and true repentance. Confession is recognizing our sin and is taking a step towards repentance, but it is not repentance itself. The same is true with asking for forgiveness. We can always find forgiveness when we look at the cross and let Christ take the punishment we deserve, reconciling ourselves again to God, but this is just another step toward repentance, and not repentance itself.

While these two things put us back on equal footing with God as though the sin never happened, they are still not repentance. Repentance is the next step in this process, which sets us up to prevent the sin from happening again.

Repentance is a Two-Part Process.

First of all, it is changing the way we think, followed by changing what we do. Let’s look at these two steps in order.

1. Change the way you think.

The first step in repentance is changing the way we think. We must recognize that it is not our actions that are the root of the problem, but the beliefs we hold inside that guide our decision-making. This means before we can change our actions, we must first identify the false beliefs within us, which led to the action in the first place. These false beliefs can come from our life experiences, whether good or bad, or can come from lies the enemy directly speaks to us that we are unaware of, yet we nevertheless believe are true.

We have to identify these thoughts and beliefs — pulling them out in the open to be seen for what they are — and then bring them into submission to the word of Christ (see 2 Corinthians 10:3-6). It is by bringing these false beliefs into subjection to the truth of the gospel that they lose their hold in our lives. This process is accomplished through meditation on relevant scriptures, spending time in prayer, and asking the Holy Spirit to write the truth of God into our hearts.

Unfortunately, this first step in repentance seldom happens in a moment of time. It cannot be fully realized by simply quoting a verse to ourselves or quickly making a commitment to do better next time. Sadly, these are the casual attempts most of us tend to make. The reality is that most often this process will require us to wrestle with the truth before it truly sets in, which is why even fasting and other spiritual disciplines are sometimes tied with biblical repentance. It is in this meditation and wrestling with truth to overcome those lies which the Bible speaks of as “being transformed by the renewing of our minds” (Romans 12:2). This is overcoming strongholds of the kingdom of darkness and letting the truth set us free (John 8:31-32).

2. Change the way you act.

Once the unbelief and erroneous thought patterns have been identified, wrestled with, and broken by the truth, then our fleshly habits can be broken as well. This is when we can effectively commit to the change of action that is required as the second part of the repentance process. Do not hear me wrong, to do this will still require discipline on our part, but when these efforts are tied to a renewed mind set on Christ and His truth, then it is not legalistic works, but it is putting to death the deeds of the flesh in a joyful pursuit of Christ-likeness.

This makes repentance sound like a lot of work. I understand that. However, nowhere does scripture indicate that the discipleship process would be easy. Jesus said it is daily taking up your cross and following Him(Luke 9:23). I believe that repentance is the most personal act of spiritual warfare that we, as children of God, are called to engage in. It is a battle that starts by fixing our eyes (mind, and hearts) on Christ, and letting His truth set us free.

Confession and seeking forgiveness is an admission of failure in battle, but that is not enough. True repentance is making a commitment to continue in the fight by biblically transforming your mind and life.

If you truly want to be the man or woman God desires you to be, there are no shortcuts in this process. As Martin Luther once declared in dramatic fashion, “the entire life of the Christian is one of repentance.” I hope you will come to see that this lifestyle of repentance is better than giving up the fight and continuing in your sin.

(This post was originally published January 14, 2015. It has been revised and edited for reposting.)

Photo by Elena Taranenko on Unsplash

Tag: Shame